I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
