i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
