I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
