Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
that is very illegal...i love you.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
