remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
