I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
