And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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