I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
