Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
