I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
