you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Just cropdusted the office
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
