Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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