I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
