she was so not down for the gang bang
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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