I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
