gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
