how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
We don't watch enough power rangers
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
