I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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