Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
