so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
