Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
