you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
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