jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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