I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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