Well douche your snatch and let's go!
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
