she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
