Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
