U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
