I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
