Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Damn victory sex feels great
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
