oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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