He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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