I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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