I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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