question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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