Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
