happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
