The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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