some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He's on the porch naked. Help.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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