i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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