Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
