Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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