Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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