yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
and eventually we just all took our pants off
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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