This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
