I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
