Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
