Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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