FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Pants are for mortals
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
