gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
